When I fall for something, I tend to fall for it hard. I sing its praises to anyone who might be considering what I’m so in love with and I will stand on tip-toe in excitement to valiantly defend it if what i love should be put down.  I will consider you a common fool if after giving you my well thought out points you still don’t come around to love “it” the same as I do and at the end of the day I feel comfort in loving what I love so much because I know it will never fail me.

The “it” I’m referring to, in this case, was my Blackberry Curve. I loved it. It was almost an appendage it just wasn’t born with me but it was always with me as if it had been.  It was what most people refer to as a crackberry because of the addiction but my addiction went deeper, I was obsessed with it, I needed it, I felt not quite whole without it.

I lovingly bought a shock absorbent cover, increased the memory storage and knew we’d be close friends, me depending on it more than the other way around for a very long time.  I was ok with knowing it was a one-sided friendship.  I took, Blackberry gave, this worked for me.

Fast forward to December 2008.  Christmas. A small box was under the tree from my husband, I was expecting something small, not quite sure what but definitely didn’t expect a concierge appointment card from the Apple Store.

An iTouch maybe?  Ehhh wasn’t wanting one but I’d take it.  But no. Upon opening the appointment card, an iPhone card fell out with it. Glossy like the phone with it’s shiny icons looking back me, I reeled backwards.  I wasn’t impressed. Not to mention the appointment was for the day after Christmas at 8am.  Was he crazy?

I’ll give whomever is over there running the Apple empire.  They know how to market.  The stores are just as shiny and glossy and  inviting as their products.  The sleek tables, the minimalist design and the “genius bar” sign lends to you believing as soon as you walk in that you’ve stepped into something higher, something better, something that only people who are really in the know, know all about.

I forgot about my old faithful friend tucked away in my bag right then and there as soon as the sleek, light, bigger screened gadget slid across my fingertips.  With the first swish through the application pages, I was hooked.  I could see in my future that i’d be checking my alcohol level while out drinking, playing word freak with complete strangers across the globe and checking my MRI right from my phone even though I had no need to get an MRI in the first place.

I came home, my number ported over and didn’t flinch when the Verizon bill arrived later having defaulted on my contract.  I did flinch however when all the realities of the iPhone hit me slowly, steady and the realization came that all that glitter wasn’t gold.

First of all, if any $50 cell phone at Wal-mart can send an MMS file, why can’t my $299 phone?  I hadn’t even thought to ask if the phone was capable of sending photos because what phone can’t these days?  That was a rough blow to the gut, I took photos daily on my Blackberry and sent them out constantly especially to family. Not only can I not SEND photos but I can’t receive either.

The iPhone camera is a 2 pixel piece of shit. It takes horrible photos in low light, there is no zoom capabilities and no flash so nighttime photos are completely out, hell even daytime photos can be out if you’re in the shade. In short, it sucks.

It’s no fun when you’re showing your friend an application and a text from your husband pops right up on the screen that says “have that ass waiting for me tonight when I get home.”  Yeah, there’s no privacy when your texts come through unless your phone is locked and not in use and if you’re in an iPhone user, that’s only when you’re sleep or charging which brings me to my 4th complaint.

Because of all those cool apps you see on the commercials that you think it would be fun to have (and it is and you do use them), your battery life is sucked dry in just a few hours easily. I constantly have to carry my phone charger with me and I have no shame asking a waiter, “can you plus this in for me over my the register?”

forwarding texts? out, no can do, won’t happen

copying and pasting? can’t do this either, how can you? there aren’t right or left mouse buttons to do it.

That’s when it hit me, the iPhone is a gadget, it’s a toy, it’s not a small computer in my hand with the awesome feature of being a phone too, it’s a phone with a bunch of shit to play with on it.  That’s it!

Is it a grand toy? Yes! Those applications are king and many new millionaires who peddle their wares in the App Store will agree with me but  I still miss my all my teensy tiny Blackberry computer-esque like qualities that the iPhone is sorely lacking.  Yes, there’s more to the iPhone than just the apps thanks to the staggering technology of the Apple platform but I still want some simple copy and pasting!

Screwed because I had already sold the Blackberry, my husband, who also bought himself an iPhone, complained with me.  It was becoming our weekly mantra that switched to daily and then almost hourly and we were – this close to ditching another contract and going back to Verizon when someone informed us of the iPhone software update coming in June of 2009. All of the complaints are rumored to be resolved and resolved the Apple way which means some pretty nifty tricks.

I’m hoping all the hype is true or you can bet I’ll go back to cursing Steve Jobs name and shaking my fist at the sky for being duped into the most expensive shiny toy ever.  All while knowing I neglected a steady friend the day after Christmas with the hopes that I’ll be forgiven and allowed a second chance to befriend them once again.